cant let you go

It was easy for me to say Im letting you go,
but deep inside,
who am I lying to?
Im not going to,
not at this time.

no one has affected me this much before, but you.
Ive not cared for someone so much before, only you.
I hope you know, we don't think alike.
I don't know whats on your mind.
only if I could crack your skull,
pull out your brains,
and see whats inside.
and only if you could do the same,
to see how much you mean to me.
you know how I am with words,
Im clumsy at times.
Every mistake that I do to you,
I sincerely apologize.
Every harsh words that came to you,
Ill take it back, and smack it at my own face.

every time I see you smile,
I will feel happy inside.
and when I see you frown,
I always feel that it was my fault.
how I wish I could make you happy all the time,
but there is so much I can do.
I never meant to make you sad,
never meant to make you mad.
If I did, I'm sorry once again.

letting you go is not as easy as 1,2,3
cause every time I think of it,
I think how much you mean to me.
I keep on hurting again and again,
was it my own mistake?