For the last time

I want to hold you for the last time,
put my hands on your face and kiss you for the last time.
I'd love to hold you tight for the last time,
but I'm afraid if I'll fall for you again, for the last time

now that I have let you go
my feelings for you only god knows
my memories with you I will still hold
you and i, no longer together anymore

I want to whisper sweet words to you for the last time
watch the sunset with you for the last time
I want to sit around and get pinched by you for the last time
let you bite my tongue for the last time

do I still still have feelings for you?
or is just that I miss you
feelings like this make me confuse
if leaving you was the right thing to do

I want to hold your hand for the last time
Kiss you goodnight for the last time
I want to tell you now for the last time
I miss you so much and I still love you and I want to hold you and I still want to be with you if you are willing to change FOR THE LAST EFFING TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Letting Go

Does it make a difference that I let you go? I dont even know if you truly love me anymore. Yea, true, I do get sms-es from you once in awhile saying that you do. But thats the point, I only hear from you once in awhile. I use to call you every night without fail. But when I stopped, I see no difference. Im stuck in this relationship not knowing whats going on. We use to be happy but not anymore. You use to be the sweetest person to me, but not anymore. No, no one is replacing you. Because honestly, I dont know if anyone can make me smile the way you did. If I stayed, I dont know if we are going to be the way we where. You are now busy with work, and same goes to me. And now that im on rotating shifts (ROTA), things will not be any better. The chance of me meeting you is even lesser. I would really love to talk to you about this face to face. But I dont even get the chance to talk to you on the phone, what more meeting you. Unless you think that we can have something again, unless you think that we can love each other the way we did, UNLESS you think that this silence will be over anytime soon, Im letting you go. You asked me to wait for you, you asked me to give you time. I asked why, you didnt want to tell me. I accepted it. But now that i reallised, we have no communication anymore. You didnt even have enough trust in me. I told you that my past would be over me, you where so afraid that it wouldnt. Now I can say with confidence that all my past, is my PAST. But whats the diff? Its over. I knew that I did what I could to sustain our relationship. But nothing helped. Im all alone now. Now I know, no matter how many friends I have, I have to go through this shithole by myself. Nothing and nobody can help me. LOVE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE SOMEONE ELSE

Around Singapore

This past few days I have been busy shooting for Singtel directories. I took the project as a sub-sub photographer. Things are not going that well as I have to travel almost the whole Singapore snapping photos of stalls in hawker centers. Whats worst is that, when I arrive at the place, stalls are always close. When I arrive early, some stalls open late (night hawker). When im there in the evening, they are close for the day. Sadly, of all 14 hawkers I have manage to clock, only 6 are considered complete and the rest, I have to revisit. My body is starting to ache like a 60 year old man, not that I know how 60 year old man feel but its bad enough. I walked so much in a day that if calculated together, I could have walked the same total distance from Tuas to Changi. Why cant the company be more organized? get 4 photogrpahers, covering 4 different areas, North, South, East & West so that it can be done quickly. I mean, he is paying me as per Hawker not per day or whatever. If its not for the desperation of cash, I really would have given up and throw this project @ his face.

I was from Clementi to Dover to Ghim Moh to Commonwealth. And my last destination was suppose to be Havelock road. From Commonwealth I took a bus and dropped @ Central mall thinking that it would be around that area. But NO!! I was lost. I found out from Yunos that Havelock Rd is freaking long. He asked me to walk to ... Gangrene Rd??? Ouh no.... Ganges Rd.. I know I passed by that place, but I had no idea where that was.. so I ended up walking to chinatown, hong lim park. Over there, the shop tenants are really unfriendly people. I said I was rom singtel and they said that they didnt want to get involved with the goverment. WTF??!! but in the end, after going to Maxwell and Chinatown Food Centre, I found out that the main photographer has took photos of all the hawkers in that area... what a waste of time

I started the day at 12pm and ended the day at 7. I have not been fasting this past few days due to this stupid project. Im not all for the food, I just needed to drink and smoke. Forgive me Allah. Make me a stronger man.

CD Day Parade 2008 @ BRTC

Jamming

I spent the whole day with a newly formed band. They had a jamming session @ potong pasir. I went as a videogrpaher. I had fun with them. This goes without saying that the talents are superb. Redzwuan was SPLendid to the core. I have to be honest, I dont really know what a good guitarist sounds like besides playing perfectly, but his showmanship was terrific. On the way going to town after jamming, we decided to walk to a bus stop to get a bus and I just discovered that Potong Pasir is VERY near Macperson and Toa Payoh Road. I could have taken a bus from woodlands (966) instead of wasting my money AND time taking the train.

At peninsula, we wasted time while waiting for break-fast *applies to only 3 of us* and also looking @ guitars. At 6.15pm we decided to go funan to have KFC. so here is the thing, I saw 3 foreign looking makcik wearing tudung (head scarf), most prob from Indo, seating down chit chatting away. 1st thing in my mind was "hmm, maybe waiting for break fast", but on a closer look... jeng jeng jeng... ergkk!!! kenyang!! member dah bedal dulu!! that was so embarassing. its very degrading to us Muslims. ignore the youngsters that dont fast and eat anywhere and everywhere they want. but these are 3 "embak". what would people say? how do other religion want to respect us if we do this? aside from that, I was being a mean person at the kfc. I saw 4 seater table un-occupied and there was 5 of us. beside that empty table was 2 guys, 1 was clearly malay *tak puasa, pat tangan ada Pepsi*. and beside them was another un-occupied 4 seater table. me being mean, I said loudly in malay "duduk jer pat sini, dahtu suruh ni budak BELAH pi meja sebelah. orang datang nak buka puasa". hehehehehehehe. so they did leave.

we hanged out @ suntec city, starbucks since Rasul's "mate" *ehems* have staff discount. we hanged out there till late, thinking that we will catch the last train, as Rayza and Rasul keeps on saying to me "Rilek Din, the nite is still young". Ouh ya, whats with my nick name?? DIN?? kiwak, tak handsome, favour ah geng. Stop It siak!! anyhooo, to make story short, we walked to Siti Hole and found out that the train has said its final goodbye. Where would you go when you are stuck @ siti hole in the middle of the night and you dont want to take cab? McDonald bras basah jugak jatuh. I had my Sahur there. Senin McGriddle, eh no, Sausage McGriddle w/ Egg. The rest of the guys had the same. I have to tell you, we all LOVED it. but no suprise to me as it was the 2nd time I tried it. By the time it was 6, we headed home. All the guys took cab while I took the train alone. One more thing I would like to Bitch about. What The Fish is wrong with SMRT? I went into the station waiting for the 1st train and it was like seating in an OVEN!! and there was no one there yet except for afew of random people. But by the time that the other train arrived and passengers where waiting for the transfer, Dah macam Senin McMuffin dalam OVEN lah SIOL!!!
OK!
Thats All!

PICS:
Abang Rayza
From Left:
Drummer, Lead Guitarist, Bassist, Rythm Guitarist and Vokal

Chilling @ Starbucks Suntec Siti

Sustaining

To be together was never a regret
For you have made me a better man
You show me what true love was like
It was just me, stuck in my past life
As of today im willing to let go,
So our love will go fast from slow

Even if time is not by our side
I shall not make that a reason why
we should never be heart to heart
even with our hands apart.
I shall try to make you smile
even if it takes awhile

My ears and shoulders are always there
If you need me for a hug and care
I wont let you cry alone,
For you will always be my love
Every time I pray to Him,
I ask to banish away my sins
But us, I shall always pray
never let our love decay

ILY - Even If It Hurts

Is That True

When girls are quiet, Millions ofthings are running in their mind.

.

When girls are not arguing, They are thinking deeply.

.

When girls look 'staringly' at you, They are wondering how long you will be around.

.

When girls answer "i'm fine" after afew seconds, They are not at all fine.

.

When girls stare at you, They are wondering why are you lying.

.

When girls lay on your chest, They are wishing for you to be theirs forever.

.

When girls call you everyday, They are seeking for your attention.

.

When girls want to see you everyday,They want to be loved and pampered by you.

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When girls sms u everyday, They miss you and want you to reply at least once.

.

When girls say I LOVE YOU, They mean it.

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When girls say that they can't live without you, They have made up their mind thatyou are their future.

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Finally.. When girls say "i miss you", No one in this world can miss you more than them..

I Love You - Does That Mean Anything?

It seems that our relationship has slowed down to almost 5km/h driving in an express lane. We started running before learning how to walk. Now I feel that everything is comming to a stop. But why give up? I know that I cant forget my past but I will if you give me time. Isn't this whats its all about? I slowly forget my past when you are by my side. But recently, since we seldom meet each other, I start thinking about it. I need you to be with me and guide me. I'm not asking much from you. Every relationship has its flaws. Our past is the greattest flaw now. But if we try to fix, insya'allah (on gods will) things will be back to normal. Dont give up on our relationship. Atleast I know I dont. I wana cherish every single moment we spent together. I will try and do whatever it takes for whatever is in between us to be over. I wont say "I Love You" until it means something to you.

I Want To Know

bila kita bertentang mata,
aku terjatuh cinta
bila tangan bergenggam sama,
aku rasa tergoda
bila engkau mula berkata,
hatiku gembira
katakanlah pada diriku,
jika engkau mencintai ku

Recruit

One year has passed since those photos where taken. It happened to be the Ramadan last year. The Muslim recruits where fasting and the Chinese guys where having dinner. I just had to find something to do while waiting. We had a good laugh after looking at how our faces turn out to be. Today is the 7th day of the fasting month. I'm holding it in there. Staying strong. But what bothers me now is not about fasting, but about returning back to work tomorrow. I hate going to the office as its very far away. I hate the office as I have face people that I don't want to face. Whats worst is that I hate the office because its boring.

You Are My Beautifull

dua puluh hari bulan julai
hari istimewa bagi hidup ku
tiga belas tahun berkawan
hari ini, aku bersamamu
aku mengambil satu hari untuk membuat keputusan
kerana aku tahu, engkau akan membuat aku bahagia

pada hari ini dan saat ini seketika
aku mahu mengucap kan terima kasih kepada mu
ulang tahun ku yang ke dua puluh
engkau membawa aku sarapan pagi tanpa ku ketahui
engkau datang kerumah aku dan membuat aku tersenyum besar
engkau membuka hati aku
mulai hari ini aku tahu
hari jadi bagi diri aku
tidak perlu seribu dollar
hanya satu hati

the day I sprained my ankle
I felt horrible
I know that I will not able to see you
a day without you by my side,
its like a fish living on land
but you once again, made me smile
you came over to visit me even if it was 15mins
Thank You!!

Im sorry if Ive made you sad
Im sorry if Ive made you mad
You know that I love you deep inside
Looking at you smile makes me glad
How can I consider you for someone else
You are all that I want,
I will never let you leave me
Cause only god knows what you have done

Yearbook

Name: Maikal
Age: 17
Year Of Graduation: 1987
Well Known As: School Bully














Name: Isabola
Age: 18
Year Of Graduation: 1986
Well Known As: Noisy Bitch















Name: Amy
Age: 20
Year Of Graduation: 1985
Well Known As: Pretty Boy















Name: Nazy
Age: 16
Year Of Graduation: 1990
Well Known As: Glamor Girl

SCDF Multimedia Team

It has been the 5th day of the fasting month. Alhamdulillah (Thank God), Ive made it through all 5 days despite the challenges faced. This whole week, I came to work only twice, Monday & Wednesday. Thanks do the Off In Lieu I have accumulated since NDP. My body has not been responding for me very well. Take for example yesterday. I slept at 3am, woke up at 5am for Sahur and slept again after Dawn prayers, and ended up waking up at 4pm this afternoon. My dad says that evil is making me lazy and made me sleep pass through afternoon prayers. But to me, I guess its my body catching up on all the sleep Ive missed during my normal working days.

Liberator Car Being Tested

How Cool Is That? A LIBERATOR CAR!!Two men from the Cincinnati-area hope that they have stumbled upon the solution to mankind's transportation woes, bringing together the best of an ultralight electric car with a monorail, resulting in the Liberator Car. Developed by Jay Andress and Andy Webster, the Liberator Car can be used to travel for short distances about town, and attached to a monorail should you wish to travel long distance, arriving at your destination shortly with a maximum speed of 200 mph. The rail will charge the car's battery, ensuring you won't run out of juice the moment you reach your destination. It would be interesting to see which government is willing to overhaul their transportation system to accommodate the Liberator Car in the future, but it will be a huge achievement when done.

* For This Particular Post, None Of It Is Done By Me. Cheers

Drug Free